Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby...

Everyone has that feeling sometimes where they look around and can't quiet put their finger on what is missing. Whether you forgot your purse, your keys, your kids, your sanity, or just plain can't remember what you forgot. I think that sometimes that feeling is telling us more that we forgot our keys. I think it's a subconscious reminder that somewhere along the line we have phased out something that we should have left in our lives.
I am a country girl. I was raised in rural Ohio in a 4 bedroom house that was nestled 1/2 mile off the road in a quaint woods. C.o.u.n.t.r.y. That's me. I'm a little hood, a little rock, a little traditional, a little edgy. The down home roots are something that at a very young age I was running from. Tattoo, metal bands, piercings, college in Cleveland. I was ready for a whole new scene. Sometimes I think was too naive and jaded to see what was in front of me. I grew up having bon fires, drinking beer in corn fields, going muddin, high school football games, homecomings, senior pictures, country music, hay bailing, and coon dogs. Where tattoos of Browning Deer Heads and John Deere Tractors is normal. A whole new world huh? I was a "county kid". For those of you who don't know what this fond term means I will explain. I lived 20 min from the county seat, Findlay. One high school in Findlay, graduating classes ranging from 500 to 600. There are roughly 14 small towns and villages outside of this bustling city. The secondary school system in place are the much smaller county school. Each small town had one and the graduating classes ranged from 15 to 70. I went to a county school. Therefore I am a "county kid". Better than a "Findlay kid." (there was a huge rivalry between the two groups.) My graduating class had 63 people in it. My school housed pre-school through 12th grade. Yep. I'm a small town girl. I left right after high school.
I attended what I though to be the best party school I could find that was the farthest away. Kent State University. For all of one semester. Ha. Then I came home with my tail between my legs and attended the University of Findlay (private college, with a private college price tag, $28,000 a year. HA.) for a year and a half. Then I dropped out after getting accepted to the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago. Fucking sweet right? Wrong. No bank would give the $50,000 in student loans I needed to attend for the two year program. Bastards. So I was stuck in Ohio without a college. I went a year and just worked, then this past January I went back to a small tech college that my Pre-Law classes transferred to. I was planning on finishing up an associates in Paralegal. Sooo that didn't pan out. (I don't care to talk about it.) And here I sit again.
I just broke up with Mr. Teacher my boyfriend. You know what? I was miserable. He wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for him, but we tried to make it work because we "care" about each other. He was a high school English teacher who didn't know how to ride a bike. He didn't like camping. Or camp fires for that matter. (Um hello? How the fuck else are you going to make smores?) Not my type of guy at all. But I liked him. A lot. I am a rather devoted person. If I decide I like you, then you are most likely going to be stuck with me :) I am upset, don't get me wrong. But the more I think about the kind of person I want in my life to be a husband and father, he wasn't it. He will be great at both of those things someday, just not with me. I need a country boy. A man who can work hard all day and come home and be a good husband and father. My dad essentially. I deserve someone who isn't going to judge me by how low cut my tops are or how much beer I drink. I need a man that can keep up. That can get down on some Kenny Chesney and have a beer around the fire. That can take our kids camping and have a farmers tan. That knows the true meaning of working hard. That knows how to love a woman. Have you ever listened to country music? Women, beer, trucks, dogs, and death. That's it. The most beautiful words I have ever heard spoken by a man came through my radio on the local country station.

"If you wonder how long Ill be faithfull. Ill be happy to tell you again. Im gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever amen" - Randy Travis

"Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Does the site of me wanting you drive you crazy? Do I have your love, am I’m still enough? Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby." - Luke Bryan

"Where do you go when you're lonely. I'll follow you. When the stars go blue." - Tim McGraw

"So now I'm slowing it down and I'm looking around. And I'm lovin this town and I'm doing alright. Aint' worried 'bout nothing cept for the man I wanna be. I'm thinking maybe it's time to be livin' the rhyme. When I'm singing a song about nothing but right. And it's sure be nice if you would roll with me." - Mongomery Gentry

"If you're callin' 'bout my heart, It's still yours. I should've listened to it a little more. Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong. And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to. Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you." - Blake Shelton

"For better or worse, till death do us part. I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear."
- John Michael Montgomery

"It's your love. It just does somethin' to me. It sends a shock right through me. I can't get enough. And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under. It's your love." - Tim McGraw

"It was no accident me finding you. Someone had a hand in it. Long before we ever knew."
- Tracy Byrd

I could go on forever. It's amazing. Maybe it is just something about the country air that makes these men know how to love. Maybe it all a crock of shit just like everything else. But God dammit, I'm getting me a cowboy and finding out! I want that kind of love. I want that kind of life. Maybe all I needed was to remember where I came from and that's how I became the person that I am. Who knew? Maybe what I needed all along was my jeans, a beer, and a country boy.