Sunday, November 8, 2009
Not so Poinant.
The last real and honest thing I posted on here was July 9th. Damn. Then I thought about it, and I think that was that last time I maybe let myself feel. I have been slowly evaluating some events in my recent past and have come to terms with several of them. I have took note of my good friends, some have been "let go" from the upper positions. (And here is the kicker, they didn't actually do anything wrong per say, I just decided they weren't good enough anymore.) I tied up a few loose ends in my past. I am putting effort into a relationship that two years ago I would have walked away months ago and never looked back. I want differnt things now. I understand more that this is also my responsibilty to work on. I have new people in my life that I want to be happy and succesfull. My best friend is a 34 year old man. I know it seems strange. But I just want him to be happy and he is always there to support me and help in any way he can. And I the same for him. I enjoy our friendship. I am currently talking to and hanging out with a very simple farm boy. I am having fun. I really do like him. It is a whole different pace of life. It may just be for me. We shall see. Anyway, I don't really have anything extreemly deep or poinant to say. I just thought I would update my 4 readers on where I have been the last few months. Any comments or questions are appreciated!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ridin In The Middle of a Pickup Truck
(This is for all you sophisticated ladies out there)
She grew up in the city in a little subdivision,
Her daddy wore a tie, Momma never fried a chicken,
Ballet, Straight A’s, Most likely to succeed
They bought her a car after graduation
Sent her down south for some higher education
Put her on the fast track to a law degree
Now she’s comin home to visit holdin the hand
Of a wild-eyed boy with a farmer’s tan
And shes ridin in the middle of his pickup truck
Blarin Charlie Daniels yellin, “Turn it up!”
They raised her up a lady but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
Ladies love country boys (You know its true)
Yeah, you know momma’s and daddy’s want better for their daughters
Hope they’ll settle down with a doctor or a lawyer
In their uptown, ball gown, hand-me-down royalty
They never understand why their princess falls
For some camouflage britches and a southern boy drawl
Or why she’s ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
Blarin Hank Jr. yellin, “Turn it up!”
They raised her up a lady but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
Ladies love country boys(oooh, get country with it)
You can train ‘em
You can try to teach ‘em right from wrong
But it’s still gonna turn ‘em on
When they go ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
Blarin Lynyrd Skynyrd yellin, “Turn it up!”
You can raise her up a lady but there’s one thing you jus can’t avoid
Ladies love country boys
They love us country boys
Ooooooh yeah
It's that country thing you know
-Trace Adkins
Note: A real, honest, spill the beans, sort of blog is in the works. Half finished haning out in Microsoft Word. For my four readers, more to come soon!
She grew up in the city in a little subdivision,
Her daddy wore a tie, Momma never fried a chicken,
Ballet, Straight A’s, Most likely to succeed
They bought her a car after graduation
Sent her down south for some higher education
Put her on the fast track to a law degree
Now she’s comin home to visit holdin the hand
Of a wild-eyed boy with a farmer’s tan
And shes ridin in the middle of his pickup truck
Blarin Charlie Daniels yellin, “Turn it up!”
They raised her up a lady but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
Ladies love country boys (You know its true)
Yeah, you know momma’s and daddy’s want better for their daughters
Hope they’ll settle down with a doctor or a lawyer
In their uptown, ball gown, hand-me-down royalty
They never understand why their princess falls
For some camouflage britches and a southern boy drawl
Or why she’s ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
Blarin Hank Jr. yellin, “Turn it up!”
They raised her up a lady but there’s one thing they couldn’t avoid
Ladies love country boys(oooh, get country with it)
You can train ‘em
You can try to teach ‘em right from wrong
But it’s still gonna turn ‘em on
When they go ridin in the middle of a pickup truck
Blarin Lynyrd Skynyrd yellin, “Turn it up!”
You can raise her up a lady but there’s one thing you jus can’t avoid
Ladies love country boys
They love us country boys
Ooooooh yeah
It's that country thing you know
-Trace Adkins
Note: A real, honest, spill the beans, sort of blog is in the works. Half finished haning out in Microsoft Word. For my four readers, more to come soon!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I baby...
Everyone has that feeling sometimes where they look around and can't quiet put their finger on what is missing. Whether you forgot your purse, your keys, your kids, your sanity, or just plain can't remember what you forgot. I think that sometimes that feeling is telling us more that we forgot our keys. I think it's a subconscious reminder that somewhere along the line we have phased out something that we should have left in our lives.
I am a country girl. I was raised in rural Ohio in a 4 bedroom house that was nestled 1/2 mile off the road in a quaint woods. C.o.u.n.t.r.y. That's me. I'm a little hood, a little rock, a little traditional, a little edgy. The down home roots are something that at a very young age I was running from. Tattoo, metal bands, piercings, college in Cleveland. I was ready for a whole new scene. Sometimes I think was too naive and jaded to see what was in front of me. I grew up having bon fires, drinking beer in corn fields, going muddin, high school football games, homecomings, senior pictures, country music, hay bailing, and coon dogs. Where tattoos of Browning Deer Heads and John Deere Tractors is normal. A whole new world huh? I was a "county kid". For those of you who don't know what this fond term means I will explain. I lived 20 min from the county seat, Findlay. One high school in Findlay, graduating classes ranging from 500 to 600. There are roughly 14 small towns and villages outside of this bustling city. The secondary school system in place are the much smaller county school. Each small town had one and the graduating classes ranged from 15 to 70. I went to a county school. Therefore I am a "county kid". Better than a "Findlay kid." (there was a huge rivalry between the two groups.) My graduating class had 63 people in it. My school housed pre-school through 12th grade. Yep. I'm a small town girl. I left right after high school.
I attended what I though to be the best party school I could find that was the farthest away. Kent State University. For all of one semester. Ha. Then I came home with my tail between my legs and attended the University of Findlay (private college, with a private college price tag, $28,000 a year. HA.) for a year and a half. Then I dropped out after getting accepted to the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago. Fucking sweet right? Wrong. No bank would give the $50,000 in student loans I needed to attend for the two year program. Bastards. So I was stuck in Ohio without a college. I went a year and just worked, then this past January I went back to a small tech college that my Pre-Law classes transferred to. I was planning on finishing up an associates in Paralegal. Sooo that didn't pan out. (I don't care to talk about it.) And here I sit again.
I just broke up with Mr. Teacher my boyfriend. You know what? I was miserable. He wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for him, but we tried to make it work because we "care" about each other. He was a high school English teacher who didn't know how to ride a bike. He didn't like camping. Or camp fires for that matter. (Um hello? How the fuck else are you going to make smores?) Not my type of guy at all. But I liked him. A lot. I am a rather devoted person. If I decide I like you, then you are most likely going to be stuck with me :) I am upset, don't get me wrong. But the more I think about the kind of person I want in my life to be a husband and father, he wasn't it. He will be great at both of those things someday, just not with me. I need a country boy. A man who can work hard all day and come home and be a good husband and father. My dad essentially. I deserve someone who isn't going to judge me by how low cut my tops are or how much beer I drink. I need a man that can keep up. That can get down on some Kenny Chesney and have a beer around the fire. That can take our kids camping and have a farmers tan. That knows the true meaning of working hard. That knows how to love a woman. Have you ever listened to country music? Women, beer, trucks, dogs, and death. That's it. The most beautiful words I have ever heard spoken by a man came through my radio on the local country station.
"If you wonder how long Ill be faithfull. Ill be happy to tell you again. Im gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever amen" - Randy Travis
"Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Does the site of me wanting you drive you crazy? Do I have your love, am I’m still enough? Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby." - Luke Bryan
"Where do you go when you're lonely. I'll follow you. When the stars go blue." - Tim McGraw
"So now I'm slowing it down and I'm looking around. And I'm lovin this town and I'm doing alright. Aint' worried 'bout nothing cept for the man I wanna be. I'm thinking maybe it's time to be livin' the rhyme. When I'm singing a song about nothing but right. And it's sure be nice if you would roll with me." - Mongomery Gentry
"If you're callin' 'bout my heart, It's still yours. I should've listened to it a little more. Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong. And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to. Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you." - Blake Shelton
"For better or worse, till death do us part. I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear."
- John Michael Montgomery
"It's your love. It just does somethin' to me. It sends a shock right through me. I can't get enough. And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under. It's your love." - Tim McGraw
"It was no accident me finding you. Someone had a hand in it. Long before we ever knew."
- Tracy Byrd
I could go on forever. It's amazing. Maybe it is just something about the country air that makes these men know how to love. Maybe it all a crock of shit just like everything else. But God dammit, I'm getting me a cowboy and finding out! I want that kind of love. I want that kind of life. Maybe all I needed was to remember where I came from and that's how I became the person that I am. Who knew? Maybe what I needed all along was my jeans, a beer, and a country boy.
I am a country girl. I was raised in rural Ohio in a 4 bedroom house that was nestled 1/2 mile off the road in a quaint woods. C.o.u.n.t.r.y. That's me. I'm a little hood, a little rock, a little traditional, a little edgy. The down home roots are something that at a very young age I was running from. Tattoo, metal bands, piercings, college in Cleveland. I was ready for a whole new scene. Sometimes I think was too naive and jaded to see what was in front of me. I grew up having bon fires, drinking beer in corn fields, going muddin, high school football games, homecomings, senior pictures, country music, hay bailing, and coon dogs. Where tattoos of Browning Deer Heads and John Deere Tractors is normal. A whole new world huh? I was a "county kid". For those of you who don't know what this fond term means I will explain. I lived 20 min from the county seat, Findlay. One high school in Findlay, graduating classes ranging from 500 to 600. There are roughly 14 small towns and villages outside of this bustling city. The secondary school system in place are the much smaller county school. Each small town had one and the graduating classes ranged from 15 to 70. I went to a county school. Therefore I am a "county kid". Better than a "Findlay kid." (there was a huge rivalry between the two groups.) My graduating class had 63 people in it. My school housed pre-school through 12th grade. Yep. I'm a small town girl. I left right after high school.
I attended what I though to be the best party school I could find that was the farthest away. Kent State University. For all of one semester. Ha. Then I came home with my tail between my legs and attended the University of Findlay (private college, with a private college price tag, $28,000 a year. HA.) for a year and a half. Then I dropped out after getting accepted to the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago. Fucking sweet right? Wrong. No bank would give the $50,000 in student loans I needed to attend for the two year program. Bastards. So I was stuck in Ohio without a college. I went a year and just worked, then this past January I went back to a small tech college that my Pre-Law classes transferred to. I was planning on finishing up an associates in Paralegal. Sooo that didn't pan out. (I don't care to talk about it.) And here I sit again.
I just broke up with Mr. Teacher my boyfriend. You know what? I was miserable. He wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for him, but we tried to make it work because we "care" about each other. He was a high school English teacher who didn't know how to ride a bike. He didn't like camping. Or camp fires for that matter. (Um hello? How the fuck else are you going to make smores?) Not my type of guy at all. But I liked him. A lot. I am a rather devoted person. If I decide I like you, then you are most likely going to be stuck with me :) I am upset, don't get me wrong. But the more I think about the kind of person I want in my life to be a husband and father, he wasn't it. He will be great at both of those things someday, just not with me. I need a country boy. A man who can work hard all day and come home and be a good husband and father. My dad essentially. I deserve someone who isn't going to judge me by how low cut my tops are or how much beer I drink. I need a man that can keep up. That can get down on some Kenny Chesney and have a beer around the fire. That can take our kids camping and have a farmers tan. That knows the true meaning of working hard. That knows how to love a woman. Have you ever listened to country music? Women, beer, trucks, dogs, and death. That's it. The most beautiful words I have ever heard spoken by a man came through my radio on the local country station.
"If you wonder how long Ill be faithfull. Ill be happy to tell you again. Im gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever amen" - Randy Travis
"Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Does the site of me wanting you drive you crazy? Do I have your love, am I’m still enough? Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby." - Luke Bryan
"Where do you go when you're lonely. I'll follow you. When the stars go blue." - Tim McGraw
"So now I'm slowing it down and I'm looking around. And I'm lovin this town and I'm doing alright. Aint' worried 'bout nothing cept for the man I wanna be. I'm thinking maybe it's time to be livin' the rhyme. When I'm singing a song about nothing but right. And it's sure be nice if you would roll with me." - Mongomery Gentry
"If you're callin' 'bout my heart, It's still yours. I should've listened to it a little more. Then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong. And by the way, boy, this is no machine you're talkin' to. Can't you tell, this is Austin, and I still love you." - Blake Shelton
"For better or worse, till death do us part. I'll love you with every beat of my heart. I swear."
- John Michael Montgomery
"It's your love. It just does somethin' to me. It sends a shock right through me. I can't get enough. And if you wonder, About the spell I'm under. It's your love." - Tim McGraw
"It was no accident me finding you. Someone had a hand in it. Long before we ever knew."
- Tracy Byrd
I could go on forever. It's amazing. Maybe it is just something about the country air that makes these men know how to love. Maybe it all a crock of shit just like everything else. But God dammit, I'm getting me a cowboy and finding out! I want that kind of love. I want that kind of life. Maybe all I needed was to remember where I came from and that's how I became the person that I am. Who knew? Maybe what I needed all along was my jeans, a beer, and a country boy.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Just the way that I am....
Just The Way That I Am
-Martina McBride
Don't need no copy of vogue magazine
Don't need to dress like no Beauty Queen
High heels or sneakers, he don't give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
baby loves me just the way that I am
And when there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
I come in like a lion go out like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Don't see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am
-Martina McBride
Don't need no copy of vogue magazine
Don't need to dress like no Beauty Queen
High heels or sneakers, he don't give a damn
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just give me unconditional love
He loves me tender and he loves me mad
He loves me silly and he loves me sad
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
baby loves me just the way that I am
And when there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
I come in like a lion go out like a lamb
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
He's always sayin' he's my biggest fan
My baby loves me just the way that I am
My baby loves me just the way that I am
He thinks I'm pretty, he thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart
Don't see no reason to change my plan
My baby loves me just the way I am
My baby loves me just the way I am
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Hurt. Scared. Sad. Angry.
Well Jeremy and I are "spending some time apart." He told me that he has to decide if he cares about in a way that he wants to have a relationship with me. Wow. Fuck. That hurts. Here is the thing. I know that Jeremy and I don't always fit. We don't always have the same opinions and views on life. But that is what makes it interesting. If he agreed with me all the time what fun would he be to talk to? None. So how am I supposed to feel? I have no idea. I am hurt by a few of the things he has said to me. I'm scared I'm going to loose him. I'm sad that he feels this way. I'm angry that he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. It's miserable. I hate dating. It's awful. I wish I didn't want a family so badly, because I would give up right here, right now. When Jeremy and I first started hanging out he had to literally sit me down and tell me that he isn't like every other asshole that I have dated. That he isn't going to hurt me like they did. That I can trust him. Guess what? I fell for it. I trusted him. A lot. And three months later he is hurting me. But I think it hurts more because he is the good guy. If the good guys can't even handle me then where the hell am I going to end up? Living in my little red house alone with a cat. That's were. Fuck. I hate this.
- On a lighter note. I'M GOING TO LAS VEGAS! July 31st. I'm going with 3 girlfriends for a Bachlorette party. I'm hella excited. I have a few new dresses and bathing suits purchased for the occasion. Eeee! It's going to be just what I need :)
Friday, June 26, 2009
My Life. The End.
Ok. It has been a shit storm around here lately. I'm going to list...
1. I got "dismissed" from Rhodes State College. That's just a nice way of saying "Get the fuck out."
2. I bought a "new" (to me anyway...) car. 2001 Subaru Forester. LOVE IT! I paid $2,000
3. My "new" car has a cracked head gasket and will need $2,200 worth of work on it.
4. A drunk driver hit my dad's pick up truck last night when it was parked in front of my house. The dumb bitch tried to take off on foot and took off after her. Do NOT fuck with me. Or my dad. Moron. I win.
5. Jeremy. I wish I had an answer. Or a question even. It sucks. We haven't broken up yet, but I would venture to guess it won't take more than a few more days. He thinks I'm always a mess. I'm always upset, or angry, or something is wrong, or something needs to change, or whatever. Welcome to life. Shit happens. And just when you get it together, something else happens. We are meeting up tonight for a "face to face". It's over. I have accepted that. It still sucks. I care about him and want to be there for him. He said that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life "picking up the pieces." Well I never asked you to. I have been doing it all on my own so far. I don't know what else to say to him. I don't want to loose him, but I think I already have.
6. Michael Jackson died. Sucks.
7. My sister fucked up her leg in Volleyball conditioning. Poor kid.
8. I'm broke. Story of my life.
9. Work is stressful. Sucks.
1. I got "dismissed" from Rhodes State College. That's just a nice way of saying "Get the fuck out."
2. I bought a "new" (to me anyway...) car. 2001 Subaru Forester. LOVE IT! I paid $2,000
3. My "new" car has a cracked head gasket and will need $2,200 worth of work on it.
4. A drunk driver hit my dad's pick up truck last night when it was parked in front of my house. The dumb bitch tried to take off on foot and took off after her. Do NOT fuck with me. Or my dad. Moron. I win.
5. Jeremy. I wish I had an answer. Or a question even. It sucks. We haven't broken up yet, but I would venture to guess it won't take more than a few more days. He thinks I'm always a mess. I'm always upset, or angry, or something is wrong, or something needs to change, or whatever. Welcome to life. Shit happens. And just when you get it together, something else happens. We are meeting up tonight for a "face to face". It's over. I have accepted that. It still sucks. I care about him and want to be there for him. He said that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life "picking up the pieces." Well I never asked you to. I have been doing it all on my own so far. I don't know what else to say to him. I don't want to loose him, but I think I already have.
6. Michael Jackson died. Sucks.
7. My sister fucked up her leg in Volleyball conditioning. Poor kid.
8. I'm broke. Story of my life.
9. Work is stressful. Sucks.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Hard To Love You
Hard To Love You
-The Wreckers
Why do they make it hard to love you?
Why can't they even start to try?
'Cause now I feel a bridge is burning
And all the smoke is in my eyes
I realize I never let them know me
I always wanted to be right
Took a mistake to really show me
Exactly what they were like
I've been wrong but I've been changing
I've been wondering what to do
Here I am alone and waiting
For you
Why do I try and make them happy?
Why am I always playing nice?
It isn't easy trying to tell you
Exactly what's on my mind
-The Wreckers
Why do they make it hard to love you?
Why can't they even start to try?
'Cause now I feel a bridge is burning
And all the smoke is in my eyes
I realize I never let them know me
I always wanted to be right
Took a mistake to really show me
Exactly what they were like
I've been wrong but I've been changing
I've been wondering what to do
Here I am alone and waiting
For you
Why do I try and make them happy?
Why am I always playing nice?
It isn't easy trying to tell you
Exactly what's on my mind
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Get a loan honey...
I absolutely hate the education system. THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE PART OF IT THAT IS SET UP TO HELP THIS HARDWORKING WHITE GIRL WHO HAPPENS TO NOT BE MARRIED OR HAVE ANY BABIES WITH OUT DADDIES. Excuse the FUCK out of me for living. Jesus fucking Christ. I seriously would love to hear all about the god damn education reform that is about to happen in the college realm. I can't get any grants because my parents make too much money. Even though I'm 21 and own my own home, paid for my car, pay all my bills, pay taxes, but none of that matters because I'm not 24. Now if I had been more irresponsible and gotten knocked up without a husband, that's a whole different story!!!!!! Here you go! College money abound! Have fun! Good Luck! Oh wait, you don't have any illegitimate screamers? Sorry about your luck. Get a loan honey :) Oh wait, you want to be an EMT? Well again there is nothing we can do to help you. You will just have to pay out of pocket per semester. That isn't an approved government loan program. What? That's expensive? Well, we have payment plans available :) FUCK OFF. I quit. I'm not even going to think about trying this higher education bullshit until something changes, because quiet frankly I'm sick and fucking tired of being the hardworking member of society that is getting fucked over. So I'm done.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Update on Andie's Life
Ok. Let's see. I recently finished renovating my one and only bathroom. Nightmare to have it out of order but it looks amazing. Cute French Country theme. I'll post pics soon. Everything inside the house is finally done. Onto the outside. The roof is getting done soon. Tearing the chimney down at the same time. All new under hangs and gutters. Oh and how the lawn mowing has began. I have this nasty rolled asphalt looking crap on one side of my house and that is getting eco-wrapped and vinyl sided this summer. I'm going to look into getting a back patio poured. (I think I'm going to try to dig it out and frame it up on my own. Ohh DIY projects...) I bought new clothes line to string but haven't gotten to it.
My new boyfriend Jeremy is a high school English teacher. The sweetest guy I have ever know, let alone dated. He is funny (literally. He does stand up on the side.) My family loves him and I really see something with him. He listens and he is understanding. And I feel compelled to do things for him and listen to him and care about him. I want him to be as happy as I am. And the fact that I want to see him every minute of every day speaks volumes to how I feel about him. Regardless of whether or not I'm ready to admit those feelings. I'm scared out of mind that it's too good to be true but I'm trying so hard to just let it be and continue to be happy and thankful that I have him.
My new boyfriend Jeremy is a high school English teacher. The sweetest guy I have ever know, let alone dated. He is funny (literally. He does stand up on the side.) My family loves him and I really see something with him. He listens and he is understanding. And I feel compelled to do things for him and listen to him and care about him. I want him to be as happy as I am. And the fact that I want to see him every minute of every day speaks volumes to how I feel about him. Regardless of whether or not I'm ready to admit those feelings. I'm scared out of mind that it's too good to be true but I'm trying so hard to just let it be and continue to be happy and thankful that I have him.
Friday, May 8, 2009
A Little Worked Up...
Well as made apparent by my blog buddie, Patti, I have been away from my beloved bitch filled blog. Here is the thing, I havn't had anything to bitch about. SHOCKING I KNOW! I have recently starting dating this amazing guy Jeremy. He honestly dosn't give me anything to be pissed off about, which ironically enough is basically what my blog is about. And I have been spending just about every free minute with him. (Rough life, I know.) I can't remember the last time I was this happy. So if any of my three readers have anything they would like me to comment on (the economy, how I don't watch American Idol because it's a sham, how Bon Jovi's country music sucks, how the new Motley Crue album is almost too dark to listen to, how I hate 3oh!3, about how my sister's boyfriend Jake is a tool, about how I hate mowing my yard, my upcoming trip to NC) shoot it at me and I'll get a little worked up for your reading pleasure. Thanks Patti for keeping me in check!
Friday, April 10, 2009
A Nice Man
I just want to meet a nice man. A nice man who treats me well. A nice man that I can fall in love with, and he would love me back. A nice man to marry. A nice man to be a good father to my future children. A nice man to build a life with. A nice man to grow old with. That's all I want.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
All Inquiries Please Fill Out The Below Questions:
Application to Date Me
1. Name:
2. Age:
3. Average Yearly Income:
4. Outstanding Debt (This includes, car loans, mortgages, school loans, credit cards, outstanding bookie fees, etc.) :
5. Are you married? (If the answer is yes, please fold your application into thirds and promptly deposit into the garbage. Thank you for your interest.)
6. Have you ever been married?
7. If yes to 6., How long?
8. Do you have any children?
9. If yes to 8., how many and ages?
10. If yes to 8., do they live with you?
11. Do you smoke?
12. Do you drink?
13. Ethnicity:
14. How do you feel about Grits? (Hint: This could be a deal breaker.)
15. How do you best explain your family dynamic?
16. Education level: (Completed and pursuing please.)
17. What kind of car do you drive?
18. Hair color preferred on women?
19. How do you feel about tattoos?
20. Religious beliefs:
21. How do you describe your sense of humor?
22. Top 3 Favorite Movies:
23. Top 3 Favorite Bands/Artists:
24. Hobbies:
25. Favorite Sports and Teams in each:
26. How many serious relationships have you had in the past?
27. Have you ever been engaged?
28. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
29. Favorite Book(s):
30. Do you want children?
31. If yes to 30., how many? (If No, please turn in your application NOW. Thank you for your time.)
32. Where are you currently employed?
33. How would you describe your health? (Feel free to attach copies of any current medical records you may have.)
34. Have you ever dated one of my best friends? (If there is doubt to this answer, please see me for clarification. Thank You.)
35. Do you knowingly have any STD's?
36. When was the last time you were tested? (If the answer is never, upon turning this application in, please pick up a physical form and we will schedule you an appointment.)
37. How do you feel about pets? (Dogs, cats, turtles, fish, gerbils, hermit crabs, lizards, etc.)
38. Do you do any drugs? (This includes Rx drugs.)
39. Do you drink coffee?
40. Is there a history of any substance abuse in your family?
41. Are you physically able to produce children? (If you answer No, you will not automatically be disqualified.)
42. Is this the first application of this nature that you have ever filled out?
If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to leave them in the comment section. You may also submit your completed application in the comment section. Thank you for your time and interest.
Andrea
1. Name:
2. Age:
3. Average Yearly Income:
4. Outstanding Debt (This includes, car loans, mortgages, school loans, credit cards, outstanding bookie fees, etc.) :
5. Are you married? (If the answer is yes, please fold your application into thirds and promptly deposit into the garbage. Thank you for your interest.)
6. Have you ever been married?
7. If yes to 6., How long?
8. Do you have any children?
9. If yes to 8., how many and ages?
10. If yes to 8., do they live with you?
11. Do you smoke?
12. Do you drink?
13. Ethnicity:
14. How do you feel about Grits? (Hint: This could be a deal breaker.)
15. How do you best explain your family dynamic?
16. Education level: (Completed and pursuing please.)
17. What kind of car do you drive?
18. Hair color preferred on women?
19. How do you feel about tattoos?
20. Religious beliefs:
21. How do you describe your sense of humor?
22. Top 3 Favorite Movies:
23. Top 3 Favorite Bands/Artists:
24. Hobbies:
25. Favorite Sports and Teams in each:
26. How many serious relationships have you had in the past?
27. Have you ever been engaged?
28. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
29. Favorite Book(s):
30. Do you want children?
31. If yes to 30., how many? (If No, please turn in your application NOW. Thank you for your time.)
32. Where are you currently employed?
33. How would you describe your health? (Feel free to attach copies of any current medical records you may have.)
34. Have you ever dated one of my best friends? (If there is doubt to this answer, please see me for clarification. Thank You.)
35. Do you knowingly have any STD's?
36. When was the last time you were tested? (If the answer is never, upon turning this application in, please pick up a physical form and we will schedule you an appointment.)
37. How do you feel about pets? (Dogs, cats, turtles, fish, gerbils, hermit crabs, lizards, etc.)
38. Do you do any drugs? (This includes Rx drugs.)
39. Do you drink coffee?
40. Is there a history of any substance abuse in your family?
41. Are you physically able to produce children? (If you answer No, you will not automatically be disqualified.)
42. Is this the first application of this nature that you have ever filled out?
If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to leave them in the comment section. You may also submit your completed application in the comment section. Thank you for your time and interest.
Andrea
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Man Buffet
There people from all different walks of life in this world. Men however all fall into one of my categories. ( I have "sampled" men from all categories. I'll go vegetarian before going back for seconds on that fucking buffet.) I'm going to list. I enjoy organization. I don't get joy out of many things in life anymore, so deal. And of course, I will have witty, fun and uplifting stories of my terrors in dating to fit each category. Ha. Uplifting. What a fucking joke.
THE RELATIONSHIP GUY
THE RELATIONSHIP GUY
- You know the type. The guy that is sooo into his girlfriend that even she thinks it's weird. Or the exact opposite. She is sooo into him, and they are perfect, and I induce vomiting at this point.
THE "I LOVE YOU", BUT NOT QUIET ENOUGH GUY
- The guy that you know really does love you. Justifications aside, you know that he loves you. But not quiet enough, he's almost there, but he can't let go of the fear that somewhere out there, there could be some other woman that he could love more. (AKA: She sucks more dick.)
- You let the relationship sail along. No titles, no real commitment, you act like a couple, all of your separate and joint friends assume your a couple. You get to a point that your comfortable and you convince yourself that you don't need a title. And then BAM. He introduces you to his long lost college buddy as his "best friend". Or BAM. He fucks some chick with short thumbs and a stupid name. You freak out and tell him that he either wants you or he doesn't but you can't do this anymore. He says "Do what anymore?" like he had no idea there is a problem with the situation or his behavior. You yell some more. You then put your foot down and leave. As you turn to go, he seals his fate with the ever so carefully chosen words... "But I really care about you!" HAHAHAHA. Mother fucking asshole. Keep walkin honey.
- This is a tricky one. I prefer to be friends with guys. Don't get me wrong, I love my gal pals. But guys are easy. I can live with guys. They don't do shit, so I can do it all my way. They don't give a rat's ass, so you can almost always get your way. They are fun to go drinking with (they buy you drinks without the expectations.) They are the protective "Big Brother" types that get all pissy when some guy fucks you over. "Who is he? I'll fucking kill him!" is kinda nice to hear every now and again. Then it happens. You see him with another girl at the bar, and oh what is this? Jealousy. Horrible green envy. Fuck. How did this happen. You fell in love. Or better yet, you two get drunk and have sloppy best friend sex. Well shit, what now. And there is that inevitable turning point in every opposite sex straight relationship. You can confess your love and find out he has had a thing for you all along. (Hell yeah!) Or you can loose your best friend. (Well fuck.) Or you can get a fuck buddy out of it and get hurt. Hmm. The odds blow eh?
- He hates tattoos and feels the need to sit and regale you with his jaded view on stereotypes and try to make you feel like a bad person. Try to control your hysterical anger, get up, turn slowly, and calmly walk away. OR HERE IS A GREAT ONE! "She is really sexy, but she could loose some weight." (I had a guy say this about me last weekend.) This guy I give you free reign. Sock that two bit piece of shit sexist asshole pig mother fucker in his imaginary balls. Hard. Again. And then spit on his car. Or smash something on his car. Or carve "The Dickless Wonder" on his hood. Eh em. I would never do anything like this. (In case a cop would approach you in the next 90 days or so.)
- Nuf said. But I will say more. Once a cheater always a cheater. Unless you are madly in love with that cheater. And you think he has really changed. No regrets babe. Do what you have to, but always remember that trust is the number one foundation of a functioning relationship.
- This seems to be my specialty as of late. He is married. Game over. Small hair flip, sexy wink, sultry walk away, all acceptable, but never forget. He is someone else's. FOREVER. Or until someone lawyers up.
- We have all had it happen. You have a girlfriend who is a friend but not a best friend. You cross paths occasionaly for parties, birthdays, holidays, whatever, you like her boyfriend, a little too much, and he likes to drink and grab your ass a little too much. Wow. Done.
- The guy you start things with. You talk. You text. You go out a couple of times. A few cute nights in. Basically long enough for him to get your Tupperware and your House Season 1. Then you never hear from him ever again. Ever. Ever. He's magic. He has no fucking soul. Show up at his door at 3am with your friend that is a cop (conveniently in his uniform) and get your shit back. Your turn to disappear. Fuck this one. Worthless and spineless.
- He's cute. Your fucking hot. You kinda like each other. You sorta get along. You have a few things in common. The sex is decent. His family seems ok. Your family tollerats him. You look kinda cute together. You don't hate spending time with him. He seems sorta into you. It's better than being alone right? WRONG. Love em or leave em sweet thang.
- Don't do this. You have to be on a whole new level of desperation. You my foxy friend will never be at that level. Move on. Bad idea zone right here. Read on. I'm done here.
- Ah the one night stand. Check for a wedding ring. Go to his house. Use a condom. Don't stay the night. Don't leave anything behind. (THIS INCLUDES YOUR NUMBER!!!!) What? A girl has needs!
- I don't feel as though I need to expand much here. We all know who this guy is. You have great sex but the realtionship is basically nothing special. He takes "some time away" but calls you for booty games. Don't do this. Your giving him too much power. You want hot sex? Have hot hate sex with a random drunk guy from the bar who is fucking hot. (See above instructions for this act.)
- The one we are all looking for. The one that really doesn't exist because at some point in his life he has been sucked into that vat of loosers that I have just covered.
Now I understand that my witty yet directly accurate portrail of the dating scene as it stands today should put me at better odds when I go out there. Right? I mean in theory? Yeah not so much. I just date until they fit a catogory and then walk my fine ass away. Unless I fall in love or something. I fucking hate when that happens. Well Fuck. Have you been to the buffet? Leave comments!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Somewhere Along The Way...
Well. I guess it's time for me to have a word. I've been in a funk lately. I don't even know what it's all about. There has been a lot of death around me. I'm not sure I'm dealing so well with it. I don't know what to think anymore. I've never been a very religious person. Well, I guess that's a lie. When I was in middle school and the beginning of high school I was very involved with church (Mostly fueled by my mother). Somewhere along the way I lost a lot of faith. I don't know how I feel about God, or heaven, or hell, or good, or evil, or the church, or the world today. I'm not sure I have enough in me to truly believe in something that so-called powerful. My mom says if I had a little faith all of this would be easier. I'm not so sure. Is it really justifiable for all this pain, if God is "testing" us. "It was her time." "Somethings are beyond are understanding." None of that makes me understand. It doesn't make me feel better. I guess there is nothing anyone can say or do.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Edgy.
I'm getting new spectacles. They have red metal frames on the front and see-thro silver sides. Super cute and modern, yet dressed properly can be edgy and fucking badass. I needed a change. Gonna keep the hair crazy bright red too. (I think I need a new picture on here lol) I'm going to go pay for them on Monday so they can order them. Eeee! I'm sooo excited. Tis the dawning of a new era. Might as well be the dawning of new designer specs too. :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Where I Stand With My Feet Planted.
One of life's hardest lessons is making sure you are taken care of first. Friends, husbands, boyfriends, kids, families all begin to take up more energy than you have. I'm spent. Emotionally and physically I have nothing left. I'm currently trying to put my foot down. Setting standards for my life. If the people I work so hard to take care of can't step it up to that, then there is the fucking door.
I wish it was that simple. We learn to love these people. We have life experiences with these people and they are tied to our past. Keeping in touch with your past is so important to who you become. The person you always wanted to be. I want these people to understand what I want. You know what? I don't really want that much. Just for them to love and care about me like I love them. They don't. It's a crushing moment in your life when you look around and realize they don't love you. You make excuses for their behavior and keep going. Take an inventory of the "loving behavior" you are receiving.
I have been in the process of dealing with loosing a large part of my life for the last 3 years. He doesn't love me. He never did. After everything I have put into keeping our relationship afloat. I gave up. You know what? He didn't fight. He never would have. He hasn't loved me in a long time. I refused to see and he wouldn't hurt me by telling me so. (Wow. I've thought that, but in black and white it's so much harder to read. )
And the one person who deep down I have always been in love with? That I refused to admit? That I have somehow made exempt to all my rules? That I let talk me into anything? That I would do anything for? That I would spend the rest of my life with? That I can't imagine not having in my life? He loves another woman. Yep. Double hit. How the fuck did I pick such fucking losers to love?
There is this guy, Chris, who is making him move on me. He is sorta cute, funny, really sweet, no ex-wives, no kids, good job, car, has his own place, and he is the ever elusive "relationship guy". You know, the urban legend of the land of woman? The man that is actually looking for a relationship and someone to love? Yeaaah. You know what? I'm not that into him. What in the fuck. I guess he isn't an asshole. I date the same man over and over again. Different face and different name, same asshole mother fuckers. I get a "nice guy" the "relationship guy" and I'm scared shit less? I'm fucked up.
I have spent most of my life building these walls. Walls meant to keep people out from seeing the real me. It takes more than a few calls and drinks to get past this wall. How after so long, did I manage to let people that don't actually love me in? It doesn't make any sense. It's almost like, I loved them and that was enough.
I'm officially settling into the loneliness. I'm done. The next one to make over that wall has a long trip. I'm holding out for the man that loves me the way I deserve. The man that wants me to be happy. The man that works as hard on our relationship as I do. The man that makes me weak in the knees. The man that is meant for me. The man that thinks I'm worth all the trouble.
I wish it was that simple. We learn to love these people. We have life experiences with these people and they are tied to our past. Keeping in touch with your past is so important to who you become. The person you always wanted to be. I want these people to understand what I want. You know what? I don't really want that much. Just for them to love and care about me like I love them. They don't. It's a crushing moment in your life when you look around and realize they don't love you. You make excuses for their behavior and keep going. Take an inventory of the "loving behavior" you are receiving.
I have been in the process of dealing with loosing a large part of my life for the last 3 years. He doesn't love me. He never did. After everything I have put into keeping our relationship afloat. I gave up. You know what? He didn't fight. He never would have. He hasn't loved me in a long time. I refused to see and he wouldn't hurt me by telling me so. (Wow. I've thought that, but in black and white it's so much harder to read. )
And the one person who deep down I have always been in love with? That I refused to admit? That I have somehow made exempt to all my rules? That I let talk me into anything? That I would do anything for? That I would spend the rest of my life with? That I can't imagine not having in my life? He loves another woman. Yep. Double hit. How the fuck did I pick such fucking losers to love?
There is this guy, Chris, who is making him move on me. He is sorta cute, funny, really sweet, no ex-wives, no kids, good job, car, has his own place, and he is the ever elusive "relationship guy". You know, the urban legend of the land of woman? The man that is actually looking for a relationship and someone to love? Yeaaah. You know what? I'm not that into him. What in the fuck. I guess he isn't an asshole. I date the same man over and over again. Different face and different name, same asshole mother fuckers. I get a "nice guy" the "relationship guy" and I'm scared shit less? I'm fucked up.
I have spent most of my life building these walls. Walls meant to keep people out from seeing the real me. It takes more than a few calls and drinks to get past this wall. How after so long, did I manage to let people that don't actually love me in? It doesn't make any sense. It's almost like, I loved them and that was enough.
I'm officially settling into the loneliness. I'm done. The next one to make over that wall has a long trip. I'm holding out for the man that loves me the way I deserve. The man that wants me to be happy. The man that works as hard on our relationship as I do. The man that makes me weak in the knees. The man that is meant for me. The man that thinks I'm worth all the trouble.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Speak To Me
well i want you to notice
to notice when i'm not around
and i know that your eyes see straight through me
and speak to me without a sound
i want to hold you protect you
from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you the way that a father should love his daughter
when i walked out this morning i cried as i walked to the door
i cried about how long i'd be away for
i cried about leaving you all alone
sweet zoe jane
"Zoe Jane"
-Staind
to notice when i'm not around
and i know that your eyes see straight through me
and speak to me without a sound
i want to hold you protect you
from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you the way that a father should love his daughter
when i walked out this morning i cried as i walked to the door
i cried about how long i'd be away for
i cried about leaving you all alone
sweet zoe jane
"Zoe Jane"
-Staind
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Run.....
I'm lost. I want so many things. I'm working so hard to make things right. I don't know what else to do or say, just keep going. I want to run. I just can't decide if I want to run towards it or away from it. Life just gets harder everyday. Not sure what else to do anymore. I.. I don't even know...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Eh...
I need to get out of here. I'm begining to feel like I'm in over my head. It's a constant struggle with me everyday to get out of bed and motivated to continue on this pointless path of bullshit that is my current state of life. I just want my bed and a book. Or like 2 weeks paid vacation to be a hermit in my little red house.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Isle of Man
It's over. I've finally lost all faith in men.
- My friend Kimberly's boyfriend Tim broke up with her because he couldn't get over his own past. He says that if he stays with her he is going to "Loose who he is" Eh em. I call bullshit. They have waited 6 years to be together (he was in the Marines) and she had a plane tickets and everything packed to move to Arizona from Ohio in 2 weeks for him. She was leaving her family behind to start a new life with him.
- My friend Lisa's fiance was fucking around on her. With one of my friends! WTF. And she has caught him numerous times mackin' on other women and even found messages on MySpace "Thanks for that kiss, I'll take another please" from some girl to John! She has called off the wedding and is leaving him. He doesn't even notice her anymore. She is a sex object. He plays fucking computer games all the time when he is home and degrades her sister who is going through a rough patch in her life.
- My friend Echo's boyfriend, Mike, told her that he doesn't care if she stays around. They have been together for 5 years. They live together and their lease is up in April. She is furniture to him. He won't go anywhere with her if their friends are going to be there. "Were not going to let our friends see us like this." Wtf.
- My ex-boyfriend Casey loves me so much that he wants to kill me. Lovely. I'm sorry I've wasted the last 3 years of my life being proud of you and being there for you when no one else in your life cared at all about you. I'm sorry I was willing to give it all up for you. I'm sorry I wanted a life with you and to be happy. I'm sorry that you can't let go of me to the point that you have to threaten my life when I don't pick up the phone.
- And Finally, Nick who is my best friend says to me "Why do you think we aren't together? I love you, but I would screw it up." I say "Yeah. You would." when I told him about all these shit hole men. I told him I may be shitty for a while and he is just going to have to remind me that he isn't one of them. He says to me, and I quote. "What ever you need to stay happy with the way things are baby." OMFG. I don't bitch about the status of our relationship because it does work for us. But he doesn't need to remind me that it isn't going to change anytime soon. Jesus Christ!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Crime of Passion
Is it possible that I’ve become one of them? One of the single women who’s lives revolve around men. All your dinner dates with your girlfriends involve talking about men, complaining about men, picking men up, looking for men, getting drunk in bars and going home with men. How did dick get so fucking important?! Is it possible that we are all just dating the same kind of man over and over again with out realizing it? Why is it the woman that always have to change her ways? He likes brunettes? One $8 bottle and we’ve got it! He likes your hair curly? Better stock up on hair gel and curl cream! He likes your ass in dark jeans? Better go grab a few pairs of dark slinky Silvers. He says your legs look sexy when you wear those black stilettos? Bring on the blisters! Really? Seriously? How sexy are blisters? I swear to god. How did the female perspective become 100% geared around the male perspective? I watch Sex and the City. I read Marie Claire. I buy heinously expensive sexy lingerie at Victoria Secret. I shave my legs. I curl my hair. I wear stilettos more than I go to church. I do my makeup. I wear expensive perfume. You know what? If I had my way on my down time I would be at home writing, or watching a movie, in my oldest sweats with my hair twisted on top of my head, with a cup of coffee, smelling like deodorant, in my slippers!!! Fuckin’ A! I had to change my cell number last week because an ex-boyfriend that I was still madly in love with, left me a threatening voice mail “If you don’t fucking pick up this phone I’m going to find you and slit your throat!” After 40 phone calls in an hour I shut my damn phone off. Ummm? Not ok. When I called my best friend Nick, he says “ I hope you know if he ever lays a hand on you he will be laying in a pool of his own blood and they will be hunting me down and carting me off to jail.” Comforting to know that my untimely death would be avenged. However, I highly doubt it will be necessary. If he can’t put his sorry ass in a car to come to my holiday dinner party, or to just come see me because he, I don’t know, misses me? Then I highly doubt he will be jumping in his Civic SI to be slitting my throat in my sleep. How did I love this man? I wish I knew. It may have been easier to let go. He used to question why I loved him. If I loved him. I used to get so frustrated with myself and him trying to explain it. I always used to come up with bullshit reasons like, “ I love your smile.” “I love the way you hold me.” Bla fucking Bla. I honestly think the real reason I loved him, was that he loved me. Loved me enough to threaten to slit my throat? Ultimate crime of passion I suppose. What irritates me the most about the whole thing is that it took him threatening my life to finally be done with him. Nick is so proud of me for changing my number. He said he never thought I would do it, that I would never be able to let go of Casey. But really? Is this how I wanted to move on? Hardly.
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