Love Is The Higher Law

Note: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm going to write about love. I realize that I often rant about the topic, however; tonight I'm going to write subjectively. I'm going to write what I think love is, not who I do love or who loves me. It's what is on my mind, so I'm going with it. I may even put some enlightening quotes at the end of the post.

Love is that feeling in your stomach when they call. Love is wanting to be with that person every minute of the day. Wanting to know what they are doing, not being controlling, just curious. Love is allowing them to make mistakes. Love is being there for them when their world crumbles. Love is being the one person who can make it ok. No matter what they do, we forgive, the most horrible things, we may get angry, but eventually we forgive, but above all we never stop loving. True love is being able to make an infinite list of things you love about the other person. Love is looking past all the things that irritate you. Not being able to imagine your live without that person. Crying at the mear thought of something happening to them. Wanting them to be happy at any cost. Not willing to let go. Always waiting and willing to take them back. Letting them see on their own time how much you love them. (Side note: I'm crying now. I can't even write about love anymore...) Everyone wants to be in love. Regardless of what the tough guy says, at the end of the day, he wants someone there who cares. Wants someone to agree when they yell about how much the Cleveland Browns suck. Wants someone to make them soup when they are sick. To give them a kiss when they get home, just to remind them they were missed. Love is wanting it so bad that you will give up anything for it. Love is never giving up hope. Sometimes love is waiting silently. Sometimes there is better love around the corner, but your too blearly eyed from crying to see it. Love is always giving it just one more shot. Love is what it is. You will know it when you feel it. You can't know emotional pain until you know heartbreak. Sometimes there is nothing left to do but love.

Falling in love is hard on the knees. - Aerosmith

Dreams unwind, love's a state of mind. – Fleetwood Mac

I call it love, they call it living in sin. - Bon Jovi

I want to know what love is, I want you to show me. - Foreigner

In harmony with cosmic sea, true love needs no company. It can cure the soul, it can make it whole, if dogs run free. - Bob Dylan

Is it lust? Is it love? Whatever it is, I can't get enough. - Scorpions

Love bites, love bleeds, it's bringing me to my knees. - Def Leppard

Love can be deep inside, love can be suicide. - The Beatles

Love equals war. - Devo

Love is a temple, love the higher law. - U2

Love is an energy, love is a mystery, love is meant to be true. Love is a part of me, love is the heart of me, love is the best thing we do. - Ashlee Simpson

Love is devoted to those who see that the last dance, you dance with the truth. - Ace of Base

They Let Me Know You Were Gone

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
Susanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand
You've just got to see me through another day
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again
Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now
Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now

-James Taylor

Shruken Pygmy Head

Omg. How did this happen? I'm a thick woman. A proportionate woman. Phenomenal boobs. Cute round ass. I was always happy. I never stressed about 5 lbs. I go through phases of working out. I like to run if my smokers lungs could handle it. I've always been very secure about my body. Upon prompting from my mother I tried Weight Watchers. I lost some weight but I wasn't happy. I like food dammit! Nothing is better than a hot grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of tomato soup on a cold day. I like carbs. Pasta is my vice. I don't want to give that up! I tried the whole organic thing. I felt better. But I got sick of eating food that all tasted like cardboard. Recently I have been a little careless about my usually particular eating habits. Working on my house and always being on the go set in. Too much fast food. My clothes still fit. I'm as sexy as ever. Until today. I got up from my desk and went to use the restroom. (I work in a nursing home and the cleanest and least used potty is in the therapy department.) There are mirrors all along the walls. (This helps residents and clients work on their physical therapy.) So as I'm walking through the room I catch a glimpse of my profile. DEAR FUCKING LORD! IS THAT MY ASS! IT RESEMBLES A LEDGE! DO I SERIOUSLY HAVE A FUCKING SHELF ASS?!?!?!? Ok Andrea. Breath. 10 lbs and you will be back to thick and gorgeous. Wtf. How did this happen? Since when do I have freak outs? Maybe it's these new pants. They are higher in the back and make my ass look big/longer. You know what my dad used to say about large women with shelf ass? "Looks like a good place to set my beer." Seriously? I'm so done. No more take out. I'm going to start packing my food to Bellacino's again. Organic cardboard. Yum! That ass will be shrunken like a Pygmy head by the time Nick gets home in November. I'm going to the gym in the morning. Omg. I can't take it. This has to be the fattest I have ever been. Ever. Omg. I can't handle it. How much does lipo cost? WHAT? That much?!?!? Christ. Elliptical here I come! Fuck. I hate being fat!

9.11.01

Well. I cried this morning. It's been seven long years in the United States history. It's truly mind blowing that catastrophic events such these can happen here. What about our sense of security? Our sense of home? Our sense of patriotism? All have been altered by the events of 9.11.01 I received over a dozen text message forwards today. All along the lines of "Today is 9/11, let us remember those who were lost, those who fight, support our troops and families" excetera. Here's the thing. I remember this day everyday. I don't need the anniversary of the day. I don't need a fucking text forward. I always carry a sense of urgent worry with me. There are people in my life, family and friends, whose daily well being depends on the safety of our country. Like wise the safety of our country depends on them. There are thousands of people who were touched by the inhumane atrocity of that day.What really breaks my heart about today, is that it takes the seventh anniversary of those horrible events to renew our patriotism. For how long? A week? That's not good enough. People have become so wrapped up in the election. You know what? I'm glad. If that's what it takes for citizens of America to become a little more involved, then so be it. I just wish people could be more aware. I have such a strong sense of being an American. I realize that not everyone can have such deep rooted values. I wore a pair of dog tags under my shirt all day today. I felt them every time I moved. It was a literal representation of what I feel. Every time I think, move, love, care, worry, there are people that it represents. I wish there was more appreciation for our troops. And all this "End the War! Support Our Troops!" is a heaping helping of fucking bullshit. No one wants this war. But to vocally destroy the moral ground that we are fighting on is just as bad as not support the troops. "You guys are great, but what you have devoted your lives and well being to is worthless!" You might as well say it. I don't like this war. I want it to be over. It will all run it's course. Me ranting about how much this war sucks is selfish. Talk to a marine, talk to a soldier, talk to an airman, talk to a seaman. God dammit, they know what the cost of this war is. No one else could possibly understand. This war isn't about enemy casualties, money, oil, power, or any of the other bullshit to me. The only thing I care about is not loosing any more American lives. I realize the war needs to end for that to happen, however, I also believe that we have to end this war properly or even more American lives will be sacrificed. I love the United States of America. I love what we were built upon and what we stand for. I love the men and women that risk their lives everyday for our freedom. I love my patriotism. I love the American Flag and what it stands for. I'm proud of our country and what we do and anyone that wants to criticize me for it can kiss my large, white, patriotic ass and fuck off! Whew! That's my two cents. I really don't give a fuck if you agree or not, so if your going to comment please make it a positive one.

Random Banter

Well folks. The time has come. Can I rant for a moment? My mother fucking water heater is going to cost me $750.00, if you are blissfully un-aware of the cost of the average water heater, it's $300 - $400. Why is mine so much you ask? Well I have a very fun model, short and fat just like me! Whoo! Fuckers. My friend Ben saved me $85 when he ripped apart the fan in the bathroom, the part he needs to fix it is only $35, I was going to spend $119 on a brand new fixture. Sweet! My hardwoods look great, after 6 hours on my hands and knees scraping 30 year old padding off the floor and pulling about a million fucking staples. Followed by 2 nights of deck scrubbing with Murphy's Oil Soap, and 2 coats of OrangeGlow with wax. Damn I'm good! I have taken about a 1,000 pictures, I just always happen to be on my computer at work when I update, I will put some up soon though. There are still several small things to do, but we are about 6 days ahead of schedule, and I'm moving on Sunday. Crazy! I will be glad when it's all said and done. I will have a glorious space to relax that is all mine. Huge space to paint and create, a kitchen to cook in. (All I have to say is that everyone should be thankful for the kitchen too, I make amazing holiday cookies, but I about fucking killed Nick trying to cook in my tiny ass apartment kitchen last year. Build for one. Not two, plus his ego. ) I'm ready for the financial bleeding to stop. I mean I knew it was going to be like this, I'm just getting sick of writing checks. On a different front, my love life is rather un-eventful, as it seems to continue the pattern, however, ladies and gentlemen, the drought has ended. Best friend came back for a weekend, and I had a fun filled evening. So I'm doing a little better. Ha! I have some sort of bug combined with fall allergies and a sever lack of sleep, I pretty much feel like shit. But my house looks good! Ugh. I ready for it to cool down and be fall! Long sleeves and jeans, football games, campfires, smores, Halloween, scarecrows, pumpkin carving, acorns, changing leaves, the smell, the feeling. I fucking love fall. I've some of the best times in my life in the fall. Crazy huh? I always associate the season with the good memories. Mmmm. I can feel it in my soul. It's going to be a good fall.

Bullet Points

It's been a few days since I have done an update. I only have a few minutes so I'm gonna try to re-cap. (With the assistance of these very streamline and stylish bullet points!)

• Nick came home for a surprise visit. By surprise I mean he struts into my office so proud to have surprised me, I scream, and proceed to leap on him. "What the fuck are you doing here! Why didn't you tell me asshole! Omg! Your here!" He was only here for a weekend, but still a good time none the less.
• I am in possession of my house. My mother has turned into HGTV host from hell. It's all good though. Shit is getting done. I'm exhausted. Every free moment in poured into the house. Sweat equity anyone? lol I found an amazing pair of Vintage Ray Bans in the attic. That in itself made all the sweaty work worth it. Ha.
• Crystal's birthday is coming up! We always host a hotel party, and I'm excited!
• Well I thought there would be more interesting bullet points here, however, as much as I feel like my life is spiraling out of control, in all reality, I'm just stretched way too thin trying to work on my house. Oy!