Application to Date Me
1. Name:
2. Age:
3. Average Yearly Income:
4. Outstanding Debt (This includes, car loans, mortgages, school loans, credit cards, outstanding bookie fees, etc.) :
5. Are you married? (If the answer is yes, please fold your application into thirds and promptly deposit into the garbage. Thank you for your interest.)
6. Have you ever been married?
7. If yes to 6., How long?
8. Do you have any children?
9. If yes to 8., how many and ages?
10. If yes to 8., do they live with you?
11. Do you smoke?
12. Do you drink?
13. Ethnicity:
14. How do you feel about Grits? (Hint: This could be a deal breaker.)
15. How do you best explain your family dynamic?
16. Education level: (Completed and pursuing please.)
17. What kind of car do you drive?
18. Hair color preferred on women?
19. How do you feel about tattoos?
20. Religious beliefs:
21. How do you describe your sense of humor?
22. Top 3 Favorite Movies:
23. Top 3 Favorite Bands/Artists:
24. Hobbies:
25. Favorite Sports and Teams in each:
26. How many serious relationships have you had in the past?
27. Have you ever been engaged?
28. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
29. Favorite Book(s):
30. Do you want children?
31. If yes to 30., how many? (If No, please turn in your application NOW. Thank you for your time.)
32. Where are you currently employed?
33. How would you describe your health? (Feel free to attach copies of any current medical records you may have.)
34. Have you ever dated one of my best friends? (If there is doubt to this answer, please see me for clarification. Thank You.)
35. Do you knowingly have any STD's?
36. When was the last time you were tested? (If the answer is never, upon turning this application in, please pick up a physical form and we will schedule you an appointment.)
37. How do you feel about pets? (Dogs, cats, turtles, fish, gerbils, hermit crabs, lizards, etc.)
38. Do you do any drugs? (This includes Rx drugs.)
39. Do you drink coffee?
40. Is there a history of any substance abuse in your family?
41. Are you physically able to produce children? (If you answer No, you will not automatically be disqualified.)
42. Is this the first application of this nature that you have ever filled out?
If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to leave them in the comment section. You may also submit your completed application in the comment section. Thank you for your time and interest.
Andrea
2 comments:
Ooohhh...I wanna date you:
Application to Date Me
1. Name:Patti
2. Age:31
3. Average Yearly Income: not enough
4. Outstanding Debt (This includes, car loans, mortgages, school loans, credit cards, outstanding bookie fees, etc.) : too much
5. Are you married? (If the answer is yes, please fold your application into thirds and promptly deposit into the garbage. Thank you for your interest.)Yes, but I want to trade up for a new model.
6. Have you ever been married? of course...
7. If yes to 6., How long? 11 years
8. Do you have any children? yes
9. If yes to 8., how many and ages?4. 10, 8 and soon to be five
10. If yes to 8., do they live with you? yes
11. Do you smoke? never
12. Do you drink? occasionally
13. Ethnicity: english, swedish, scoth, italian, german and gibraltian
14. How do you feel about Grits? uh, they are ok. (Hint: This could be a deal breaker.)
15. How do you best explain your family dynamic? my family is crazy and i avoid them at all costs
16. Education level: (Completed and pursuing please.) some college and going back soon.
17. What kind of car do you drive? Audi A6
18. Hair color preferred on women? I like brunettes
19. How do you feel about tattoos? I've got six
20. Religious beliefs: spiritual
21. How do you describe your sense of humor? i'm funny...
22. Top 3 Favorite Movies: Pirate Series, Bourne Series and Ocean Series (like romantic and comedies as well)
23. Top 3 Favorite Bands/Artists: too many to count, but I like Casting Crowns, Pearl Jam and Trace Adkins
24. Hobbies: playing with my kids, walking my dog, my blog and reading
25. Favorite Sports and Teams in each:Hockey, NY Rangers, baseball: NY Mets
26. How many serious relationships have you had in the past? 1
27. Have you ever been engaged? twice but i think the first time was to get in my pants...
28. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? oh hell yeah
29. Favorite Book(s): All three books by Jen Lancaster, Old House at Railes and The Firm
30. Do you want children? yes,
31. If yes to 30., how many? I have four but would love more.You would have to carry them though because I have no uterus. (If No, please turn in your application NOW. Thank you for your time.)
32. Where are you currently employed?
33. How would you describe your health? It's been difficult but for the most part, i'm ok(Feel free to attach copies of any current medical records you may have.)
34. Have you ever dated one of my best friends? (If there is doubt to this answer, please see me for clarification. Thank You.) Never.
35. Do you knowingly have any STD's? I've never had any
36. When was the last time you were tested? last year (If the answer is never, upon turning this application in, please pick up a physical form and we will schedule you an appointment.)
37. How do you feel about pets? (Dogs, cats, turtles, fish, gerbils, hermit crabs, lizards, etc.) I'm more of a cat person but like dogs as well. Lizards are pretty cool but fish and gerbils are too much work. never had a hermit crab
38. Do you do any drugs? (This includes Rx drugs.)I do take medication. never did illegal drugs
39. Do you drink coffee? That is my legal drug
40. Is there a history of any substance abuse in your family? unfortunately, but not me.
41. Are you physically able to produce children? (If you answer No, you will not automatically be disqualified.) Not anymore
42. Is this the first application of this nature that you have ever filled out? Yes
Do I pass the test??
Alright...here I go... (I warn you though, I'm a handful)
1. Name: Dan
2. Age: 29
3. Average Yearly Income: Not enough, but I DO have one...
4. Outstanding Debt (This includes, car loans, mortgages, school loans, credit cards, outstanding bookie fees, etc.) : Just my car...
5. Are you married? (If the answer is yes, please fold your application into thirds and promptly deposit into the garbage. Thank you for your interest.)Nope.
6. Have you ever been married? Nope again.
7. If yes to 6., How long? NA
8. Do you have any children? Nope
9. If yes to 8., how many and ages? NA
10. If yes to 8., do they live with you? NA
11. Do you smoke? Nope
12. Do you drink? Nope
13. Ethnicity: Caucasion
14. How do you feel about Grits? (Hint: This could be a deal breaker.): I have no opinion on Grits... really it all depands on the maker.
15. How do you best explain your family dynamic? Currently living with my mommy (because she just got a divorce, wanted some help around the house, and offered free rent... and I only call her mommy to be funny. Not in real life.)
16. Education level: (Completed and pursuing please.) College (B.A. in Drama)
17. What kind of car do you drive? Honda Accord
18. Hair color preferred on women? Brunette preferably.
19. How do you feel about tattoos? I have 6, so I suppose I'm for them.
20. Religious beliefs: Agnostic at most.
21. How do you describe your sense of humor? Dry and dry-er.
22. Top 3 Favorite Movies: Children of Men, Peter Pan (animated 1953 Disney version), Almost Famous
23. Top 3 Favorite Bands/Artists: Metallica, Billy Joel, Jeff Buckley
24. Hobbies: Following sports, playing trivia, acting
25. Favorite Sports and Teams in each: Baseball (Reds), College Basketball (Cincinnati Bearcats), Football (Bengals..at least for a couple more days. After that I'm a free agent)
26. How many serious relationships have you had in the past? 3 serious ones.
27. Have you ever been engaged? Yes
28. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yes
29. Favorite Book(s): Neal Gabbler's biography on Walt Disney
30. Do you want children? Yes
31. If yes to 30., how many? (If No, please turn in your application NOW. Thank you for your time.) At least 2, no more than 4.
32. Where are you currently employed? A private jet charter company based in Cincinnati.
33. How would you describe your health? (Feel free to attach copies of any current medical records you may have.) Pretty good. A little pudgy, but improving.
34. Have you ever dated one of my best friends? (If there is doubt to this answer, please see me for clarification. Thank You.) Nope.
35. Do you knowingly have any STD's? Nope.
36. When was the last time you were tested? (If the answer is never, upon turning this application in, please pick up a physical form and we will schedule you an appointment.) December 2008
37. How do you feel about pets? (Dogs, cats, turtles, fish, gerbils, hermit crabs, lizards, etc.) I own a cat and also like dogs and other animals.
38. Do you do any drugs? (This includes Rx drugs.) Nope
39. Do you drink coffee? Nope
40. Is there a history of any substance abuse in your family? Yep..mostly alcohol
41. Are you physically able to produce children? (If you answer No, you will not automatically be disqualified.) As far as I know.
42. Is this the first application of this nature that you have ever filled out? Yes.
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