Hurt. Scared. Sad. Angry.

Well Jeremy and I are "spending some time apart." He told me that he has to decide if he cares about in a way that he wants to have a relationship with me. Wow. Fuck. That hurts. Here is the thing. I know that Jeremy and I don't always fit. We don't always have the same opinions and views on life. But that is what makes it interesting. If he agreed with me all the time what fun would he be to talk to? None. So how am I supposed to feel? I have no idea. I am hurt by a few of the things he has said to me. I'm scared I'm going to loose him. I'm sad that he feels this way. I'm angry that he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. It's miserable. I hate dating. It's awful. I wish I didn't want a family so badly, because I would give up right here, right now. When Jeremy and I first started hanging out he had to literally sit me down and tell me that he isn't like every other asshole that I have dated. That he isn't going to hurt me like they did. That I can trust him. Guess what? I fell for it. I trusted him. A lot. And three months later he is hurting me. But I think it hurts more because he is the good guy. If the good guys can't even handle me then where the hell am I going to end up? Living in my little red house alone with a cat. That's were. Fuck. I hate this.

• On a lighter note. I'M GOING TO LAS VEGAS! July 31st. I'm going with 3 girlfriends for a Bachlorette party. I'm hella excited. I have a few new dresses and bathing suits purchased for the occasion. Eeee! It's going to be just what I need :)