Romeo and Juliet. Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Tristan and Isolde. Napoleon and Josephine. Mr. Big and Carrie Bradshaw. The everlasting loves of the world. It's June. Month of Weddings. The Wedding. The Dress. The Food. The Location. The Guests. The Love Of Your Life. My best friend would be on her honeymoon right now. But fate intervened and it wasn't true love. She knows with all her heart who her true love is, but she isn't with him. It's funny how the heart knows no boundaries. Doesn't see when it's inconvenient. Doesn't see when its hard. Doesn't see when it's painful. I am in love. True Love. The kind of love that no matter what happens or who I'm with in my life, I will love this man with my whole heart. I'm not with him. I'm not near him. My heart hurts to think about him. I am literally in tears at this moment writing the thoughts of never being with him ever again. How is love so complicated? As complicated as we tend to think life is, it is really rather simple. You are born, that is life. You die, that is death. It's everything in between that is so hard. It's the relationships you make. The people that you love that make a life worth living. These are the people that complicate life and death itself. You have children with people you love. The people you love die. A part of you dies with them. Family. Friends. Lovers. Children. I just want a fulfilled life. A life with the man I love. If Mr. Big can get his shit together and Carrie gets married at 40 then why the fuck can't my man see that there is no choice? I'm in love. The worst kind of love. The blind kind. The painful kind. The kind that makes you break down crying in the shower at the thought of him with someone else. The kind that when you see a happy couple your heart aches because he isn't next to you. The kind that when you crawl into bed at night you cry yourself to sleep because you are the only one there. I love him. With every piece of my being. Forever.
The Third Letter Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mail coach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
-Ludwig van Beethoven
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